Here I Am, This Is Me

This is not the first blog I’ve ever owned. There are several lost sites out on the net with my mark on them. Many of them I started when I was younger, and much in those old posts contain parts of me best forgotten.

I want this blog to be an exercise for me. I want it to be a tool where I write (hopefully) every day, or at least a few times per week. I used to write all the time, but life, work and family have interfered and made it difficult to find the time to do the one thing that has always brought me joy. Don’t get me wrong: I love my family and enjoy my work. But one of the few “talents” I’ve ever had in my life has been my ability to write, and I’ve come to the realisation that any ability I have is slowly atrophying as I don’t use it.

Even these last few paragraphs have been difficult. My dad would be gobsmacked.

My Dad always had faith in my writing. He was always proud of everything I put to paper. Or screen. I used to have hundreds of story ideas and he always encouraged me to write them. I never finished. My biggest problem in life is procrastination, and I can never finish what I start. Dad was the same, he used to tell me. He always battled to finish his projects too. Not work ones, his personal ones. And he could write, hey. He could write really well. He always inspired me.

I miss my Dad. He died a year and a half ago. Liver cancer and emphysema. Although it’s not called that anymore. It’s called chronic pulmonary obstructive disease.

My family is the most important thing in my life. It always has been. There are five of us: My Mom, my sister Bronwen, my brother-in-law Brett, my gorgeous 5-year-old nephew, Xavier, and me. I have aunts and uncles and loads of cousins. I adore all of them. They are my life. If not for my sister and my nephew, I don’t know where I’d be now. A part of my past whispers to me that it’d probably be in a grave somewhere.

Wow, I’m being depressive, aren’t I? I’m not, really. I’m happier now than I’ve ever been. My family make me laugh, they keep me going. And I have an awesome job. I’m a preschool teacher, I teach 3-4 year olds. In a few days, our leave comes to an end and the school re-opens. A new year, a new class. It’s always a challenge in the beginning. The kids don’t want to leave their moms and dads to come to school, they’re all to used to staying home. And they’re little, the don’t understand. And I have to get used to a class a whole year younger than my previous one. I’m going from a group of mature and functional four year olds to a group of less-mature three year olds that I have to turn into four year olds. I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again. Every year’s a challenge, every child is different. It’s the most rewarding job in existence.

There’s too much to put into one post here. But that’s the point of a blog, isn’t it? To write every day about your life. And I hope I can keep to this one new year’s resolution to get my writing muscle into shape again. The other new year’s resolution is to get my fat ass into shape again, too! Only two resolutions this year, let’s see how it goes!